Sunday, September 26, 2010

Free Enchanted Monkey's Paw in Specially Marked Boxes of Honeycombs


Follow these misadventures now on twitter

http://twitter.com/search?q=%23monkeyspaw#search?q=%23monkeyspaw

Must be buried immediately in backyard with a size 10 slipper, a dash of paprika and all your Boney James cds. #Monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Bureau of Enchanted Objects finally telexes me about their massive Monkey Paw recall of 1975. Sez "Do Not Make Wish!" #Monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Nicolas Cage making obscene offers to buy my enchanted Monkey's paw. No, I won't trade it for your hermaphrodite Komodo Dragon #monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Speechless Maria Osmond strangely attracted to one-armed men. Felatio forseeable. Thank you enchanted Monkey's paw. #monkeyspaw
1 minute ago via web

Wish she would just shut up already. Great. There it went. #monkeyspaw
7 minutes ago via web

Down to one wish. Maria Osmond biitching about Exile On Main Street. #monkeyspaw
8 minutes ago via web

Enchanted Monkey paw instructions not in Farsi but ancient Mormon text. Wish Maria Osmond was here to help. Oh, shit! #monkeyspaw
13 minutes ago via web

M.Night Shyamalan faxes over Cease and Desist orders over current Tweets. Can't help that my life is so supernatural. #monkeyspaw
44 minutes ago via web

Trying now to reach Customer Service at General Mills. Perhaps crazy Uncle Arthur was right. They are owned by the Devil! #monkeyspaw
about 1 hour ago via web

Be careful what you wish for. Strange rash gone. Whole left arm has vanished. Hard to pick nose now and read newspaper. Damn #monkeyspaw
about 1 hour ago via web

Wish this strange rash would go away. #monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Rubbing enchanted monkey's paw found in cereal box. Getting a strange rash. Must be allergic to damn monkey fur. #monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Damned instructions are in Farsi. How does one wish upon an enchanted monkey's paw anyway? Do ya rub it? #monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Cereal seems a bit stale. Hope the free monkeyspaw still works #monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

It came free in an old box of Honeycombs. WIth enough boxtops one can get an Osmonds Record #monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Free enchanted monkey's paw found in cereal box. What should I wish for? #monkeyspaw
about 2 hours ago via web

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Lame Ass Movie Pitches # 155 -- Kitty Carlisle, Vampire Killer


Proving her deductive prowess on What’s My Line and I’ve Got A Secret, Kitty Carlisle is tapped by J. Edgar Hoover to hunt Commie Vampires in New York’s Theater District.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Lame Ass Pitches #124 -- Dystopian Gillespie, a Sci Fi Musical


In a bleak future where all art is banned, one brave man picks up a trumpet.