Saturday, July 10, 2010

Todd Palin Hunts Mystical Creatures From Chopper

Native American groups are up in arms with Todd’s Palin’s latest gory hobby, aerial hunting their native legends from a helicopter.

Palin, seemingly killing through the alphabet, has moved on from hunting wolves to Wendigos, a mythical spirit-animal of the Algonquian-speaking tribes in the northern United States and Canada.

Protestors around the former Governor’s ice palace, carried signs reading, “Leave our Mythology alone.” And “Let us kill our own damned Monsters.”

“I’m no racist,” countered Palin over a couple of frosted Rheingolds. “I just like to blast living things from way up on high. I’d even blast a fucking bald Eagle if I could. That’s why I’m so stoked about my pretty wife being our next president. To finally let me kill some really cool shit. Man, it’ll be sooo like the Most Dangerous Game.

(Editors Note: The Todster didn’t actually reference the movie classic, The Most Dangerous Game, but Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Hard Target. Everyone knows that neither of the Palins have ever seen a black and white movie, cause they’re frankly so damned unAmerican.)

Once he brings the Wendigo population to total extinction, he is looking forward to tacking Yetis next. “Too bad there ain’t any animals in the kingdom starting with the letter X, “ he sighed. “Someone already bagged that Malcolm dude.”

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