Saturday, August 21, 2010

Pete Townshend Announces His New Rock Opera – Tomei

“Tomei can you hear me? Can you feel me near you?
Marisa can you feel me? Can I help to cheer you?”

A longtime and rabid fan of the Oscar winning actress, legendary rocker, Pete Townshend has unveiled a new rock opus dedicated to his obsession with all things Tomei.

Basically, the album is about a legendary rocker who has lost his ability to perform. Then, in the green room of a late night talk show, he suddenly meets his muse. She smashes the mirror and opens the door of his heart, allowing him, for a brief moment, while backed by Paul Schaeffer and his Late Night Band, to suddenly soar as a rock wizard again.

Admitting to a massive crush on the actress since seeing her “In My Cousin Vinnie”, the famed musician just couldn’t erase the image of Marisa Tomei, laying naked, Ken Russell Style, in a bathtub full of beans. Heinz Baked Beans.

“I often think of beautiful women in bathtubs full of Heinz Baked Beans.” He told us. “Ever since the war. Well, they are the musical fruit.”

“I had to write this thing. I had to exorcise those demons. Look at her. Isn’t she just luscious? She’s like a peach. A good peach. Not one of those spotty peaches where you take a bite and -- yuch, -- have to spit it right out into a napkin. And, then you take another bite and it’s the same bloody thing. Bite. Spit. Bite. Spit. Like you never learn.”

“I’m thinking of going the whole magilla with this one. Album. Tour. Movie. Broadway Show. Deluxe Addition Album. 20th Anniversary Tour. A movie of the Broadway Show. A Broadway Show of the movie. I think we can get Elton and Tina and Eric and Ann to join us on this.”

“Roger is game.” Says Townshend. “Hell, Daltry is game for anything these days. It’s not like there’s gonna be another shot at the Super Bowl or a new CSI show for us to do the opening credits for.”

When asked to comment on being the inspiration of such an iconic, musical collaboration, Miss Tomei merely asked “Who?”

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