Saturday, January 1, 2011
Years of Augmentative Surgery Has Taken Toll on Burger King
Once a fair and friendly ruler, the Burger King has undergone years of surgery in his obsessed quest to look more regal. He’s had experimental shin transplants in Paraguay that’ve added close to two feet to his height and extreme facial reconstruction that has given him a ghoulish, mask like appearance.
Warren Croc, the American ambassador to Burgeria wonders if all these medical procedures have finally affected the leader’s psyche. “He was once an amiable, chap.” recalls Crock. “Now, he’s a complete madman, pulling mean-spirited practical jokes on his public. Running around with airhorns, hiding behind corners, slipping pretty, blonde tourists roofies. I’ve seen him transform into quite the dictator. He’s pretty much of a dick now. Look at the millions of tax dollars the BK is spending just on bling.”