Wednesday, March 9, 2011


The Tea Party Express rolled into Derry, Maine today, putting the town’s resident evil clown, Pennywise, in their crosshairs.

Maine T.P. spokeswoman, Michelle Brock, said that “We have nothing against nice, patriotic, rodeo, Red Skelton and Emmett Kelly type clowns. But, we won’t stand for death panel, granny killing, tax and spend, socialist, Muslim, Nazi ones in our state. Pennywise has got to go!”

Derry is like many small towns in America, plagued with a blight of closed factories, foreclosed homes, high unemployment and an ancient evil which wakes to feed every 30 years.

“He claims to have been here before the foundation of the town,” she said. “So, where’s his birth certificate? I don’t think he’s even an American.”

When asked for comment, Pennywise just laughed – maniacally. "There's plenty of room for all of us to float down here."

According to film producer and giant spider expert, Jon Peters, “The Tea Party has once again misspelled their signs. Pennywise has always been a staunch supporter of GOP causes and has frequently been photographed with his older brother, Dick Cheney.”

No comments:

Post a Comment