Friday, March 4, 2011

Need A Movie Title? Pick Up A Clash Album.

Yes, I’m graciously giving away more of my infinite screenwriting wisdom gratis. Like Cinderella’s slipper, finding the prefect fitting title for your flick isn’t always easy. Ya gotta know where to look. I pretty much always look to my record collection first.

The Clash, The only band that mattered, definitely has ample ammunition to choose from. I spotted half a dozen nifty titles just from Sandinista alone.

So, unless you’re writing Romcoms, let’s nail down an awesome title for your script. I just don’t wanna disgrace Joe Strummer’s memory by naming a J.Lo project after one of his classics. Know your rights!

Carreer Opportunities, 48 Hours and The Magnificent Seven have unfortunately already been used.

I’m So Bored with the USA – Michael Cera as a dissed-disenchanted-disenfranchised youth who moves to Prague to teach English, meet hot foreign chicks and avoid getting tortured to death in the cheap hostel he found in an outdated Let’s Go Europe.

White Riot – The Sarah Palin/Tea Party Story

Police and Thieves – Something Michael Mannish. You’ve also got Police on My Back, I Fought The Law, Robber Dub and Washington Bullets.

Garageland – Either a “Let’s Start a Band” flick or a bad husband forced to live in his man cave till the divorce papers are signed. Put Jessie James in it and you got a deal.

Tommygun – Prohibition era gangster epic.

All The Young Punks – Gritty neo noir.

Julie’s Been Working For the Drug Squad – Find a new Jennifer Jason Leigh for Rush 2. See also Junkie Slip.

Rudie Can’t Fail – A look at Ska culture, a Sean Astin football sequel, or a bio pic of Giuliani's ruined presidential campaign.

Death Or Glory – A blazing guns War flick.

Lover’s Rock – Okay, we might have found a romcom in their back catalogue.

Lost in The Supermarket – Why make movies about board games when you can tie-in one about the stuff we have to buy everyday. I see Oscar Meyer, Mrs. Paul and Captain Crunch as your main protags.

Train In Vain – Matthew Broderick as the Good and Plenty engineer, Choo Choo Charlie. Ya gotta think synergy, kids. Synergy!

Silicone on Sapphire – Musical! Iowa farmgirl goes to LA to live out her dreams of starring in the Showgirls sequel.

Hitsville UK – Hopefully a better rock n roll flick than Pirate Radio.

Junco Partner – Cajun infused sex comedy.

Ivan Meets GI Joe – Another noisy Michael Bay in Toyland moneymaker.

Rock the Casbah – Cause we really do need another Iraqi War picture.

Should I Stay or Should I go – Cripes, another Romcom title!!!!

Car Jamming – Finally that Nic Cage /Vin Diesel Project we’ve been eagerly awaiting.

Cool Under Heat – Bruce Willis in a Miami Cop pot boiler.

Armageddon Time – Something Post-Apocalypto. See also The City of The Dead.

1-2 Crush on You – Teen Matheletes romance or Cloverfield 2.

Groovy Times – This one is so good just force whatever piece of shit you’re writing to fit it!

(White Man) in Hammersmith Palias – All I know is I wanna see Michael Sheen in it.

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