Dee Snyder Finally Gets His Chance With Tipper Gore

It was a crush that lasted over 25 years, but the Twisted Sister singer may finally get his chance with the about-to-be-former Mrs. Gore.

Back in 1984, they were sitting on polar opposite sides of the PMRC Rock Censorship Hearings. Snyder recalls many confusing, sidelong glances exchanged across the crowded Senate floor. The Long Island heavy metalist found her cute and perky even whilst she was grilling him.

“It was a very heated moment. Very heated. She gave off a lot of heat. I guess I’m into really strong, authoritative, heat-seeking-missile-kinda women.”

After all these years, the passion never quite faded. “Every time I shut my eyes, I’d see her beckoning, just wearing a few strategically placed ‘Parental Guidance: Explicit Lyrics’ labels.”

“But she was a married woman, man. I couldn’t tap that. It would be against everything I held holy and honorable in Rock ‘N’ Roll.”

“It’s kinda like what that geek, John Denver said during the hearings. ‘That which is denied becomes that which is most desired, and that which is hidden becomes that which is most interesting.’”

After hearing about the Gore’s separation on MTV news, Snyder felt both shocked and a little elated. “I’ve been waiting like forever for this, man. My chad has been left hanging for a long, long time.”