Chick Tract Magnet

Someone upstairs must have known my soul needed saving, cause I kept finding Chick Tracts everywhere I went.

In the can at just about every bar I frequented.

At the Off Track Betting.

In the purse I just stole.

Under my carrot slaw at the Chick-Fil-A

In my safety deposit box – How in Heaven did it get there?

In My Vegas High Rollers Suite.

On the floor of the getaway car for the Pittsburgh job.

In the dumpster behind the liquor store.

While I panicked in Needle Park.

Under every video rated R at the Blockbuster.

In a bowl of Shark Fin Soup at Wo Hops.

In The Time Capsule my high school class buried.

Too many assholes left them for me as tips when I worked at Al's Diner in Nutley, NJ.

I’m telling you. Always there. Always behind me. Where I ever went, that cartoons evangelist seemed to follow.

Well, I may be unlucky with cards and not doing so well with the ladies, but, thank, God, I’m a real Chick Tract Magnet.

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Of course. I hope once again not to have offended my rather religious friends and do hope to open further discussions with my agnostic and down right athiest readership about all the surreal, supernatural shit I've seen!