Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Pokemon Character Found to Have Massive Mineral Deficiency
The adorable, Japanese equivalent of a Poker Playing Dog, Pikachu, Pokemon’s yellow, rodent mascot was rushed to the hospital yesterday after collapsing on the set of his new animated television show, Seth McFarlane’s The Groovy Brand New Adventures of Talking Shit That Makes Me Rich.
Doctors first believed the lovable character actor could be suffering from Heptatitis. “Well, he is awfully yellow,” said a hospital spokesman. “Even for Anime. And, he did have a long history of heroin addiction.” Needles found in his disheveled hovel of a Poke Ball seemed to have confirmed their suspicions.
A proper diagnosis was finally discovered after Nurse Sailor Moon (below) found the patient outside eating dirt and clay and dust bunnies.
“We should have guessed mineral deficiency right off the bat,” concurred one doctor. “All he ever eats is little balls of energy. And he keeps screeching ‘Pica Chew’. ‘Pica Chew’.”
Doctors believe the beloved Pokemon will be back hawking product and inducing susceptible children to epileptic seizures shortly.